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Mothelress

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Mothelress Video

I am grateful that I read this book and recommend it to anyone who has lost their mother at an age when the loss affected them more than they thought possible.

I am not one to quote or recommend a "self help" book, as if it often categorized. I bought this book the month it came out over ten years ago, when I was working in a bookstore.

Overall, I think its popularity with women who have lost a mother at a young age, because Edelman confirms all the emotions you go through, and through again as you, as a woman, and a mother.

I thought I was crazy and it was just me. And that old grief cycle starts again, to its extent, and then ends and waits until the next milestone in my life.

It is one of my most cherished books and its as if my mother gave it to me, and I will and have never lent it to anyone. May 04, Jerjonji rated it it was amazing.

The Anne Quindlen quote early in the book says it all This is the book I The Anne Quindlen quote early in the book says it all This is the book I never knew existed, about feelings I thought were so unique that no one else in the entire world understood them- except for another motherless daughter.

I suspect she'll find herself inside too. When a girl or woman you know experiences the death of her mother, instead of sending flowers, get her this book.

In fact, give this to the husband of a woman who died and left a young daughter; I know of several men who read this in an effort to understand what their daughter would go through without a mother.

Alternately heartbreaking and heartwarming, if you've lost your Mom, whatever age you were when it happened, you will turn to this book over and over again for comfort and hope.

I can't r When a girl or woman you know experiences the death of her mother, instead of sending flowers, get her this book. I can't recommend this book highly enough, and I'm always surprised that more people, including therapists, don't know of it and recommend it too.

I'd give it 10 stars if I could. Mar 22, Wendy Armstrong rated it it was ok. This is a patchy collection of anecdotes and snippets of psychology.

It's definitely aimed at women whose mothers died when they the daughters were under 25, and isn't really suitable for later, 'normal' mother loss.

I am in the target demographic mother died in her 30s when I was 18 but I don't think I'll ever refer to this book again. The two overarching messages I took from Edelman, and which pervade the book, were: 1.

The book continually returns to the theme of exalting the 'flawless' dead mother. I could not relate to this. As someone without kids, I took no comfort from and saw no usefulness in the overriding message she promotes.

She's good on how communication is paramount, and the fallout when surviving family don't talk about the dead mother. Her insights on how it feels to not have a mother in your teens and 20s are excellent.

The siblings chapter isn't very strong either. Despite the fact that the author clearly takes obvious pains to include examples of in her opinion culturally diverse women - in the end, if you are not just like Edelman, you might not find much comfort in it.

I bought the book to try to deal with things that are resurfacing from that time, and feelings that may be age- and circumstance-related, but it didn't help.

Sep 21, Sara Stouffer rated it really liked it. My mom died about 5 months ago. I am 27 years old. She had been sick for a few years with cancer and I took the book out from the library while she was in the hospital during the last month of her life because I hoped that I would find something helpful in it, that it would make me feel less scared, and less alone.

It did help. At least it helped as much as any book could. Of course the book isn't perfect, nothing could be a perfect help or a perfect fix for a daughter losing her mother before s My mom died about 5 months ago.

Of course the book isn't perfect, nothing could be a perfect help or a perfect fix for a daughter losing her mother before she would have imagined.

This book was helpful to me, in some way. I think it would have been even more helpful if I had been younger when I experienced losing my mom but of course, I'm pleased that was not the case.

The book is definitely geared towards daughters who lose their mothers during their formative and teen years.

For those girls, I am especially thankful this book exists. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose a parent that young.

This book did a few things for me. It made me thankful for the time I had with my mom. I can spend my life wishing she were still here, and some days I do spend thinking just that.

Or I can chose to be happy for the time she was here. I am lucky I had my mom for 27 years. Some people are less lucky. I am lucky I had a great relationship with my mom.

Some people aren't that lucky. I am lucky my grief is not more complicated than it needs to be. This book also made sense of some of the things that I was feeling.

There were times when tears would be rolling down my cheeks because I felt less alone. There were other people out there who felt the things I was feeling.

I was still normal. I would recommend this book for any daughter who has lost a mother. It might not all apply to you, but at the least, some smaller part will, and that part will be a comfort.

I was given this book at the age of 15 right after my mother died. My cousin's wife, who also lost her mother at a young age, had read it and found it incredibly helpful.

It took me three years to read past the first page, mostly because it just made the fact that my mom was never coming back so much more real.

But once I was strong enough to read it, I found so much comfort in its pages. It seemed that every. I I was given this book at the age of 15 right after my mother died.

It was amazing to know that I wasn't the only girl in the world who thought that her heart would stop the moment her mother's heart stopped.

To know that all of pain and fear I felt was normal. My husband then my boyfriend also read this book to better understand some of my irrational fears and relationship anxiety.

Jan 03, Amanda Grice rated it it was amazing. This book made me realize the feelings I have had my entire life were normal. I lost my mom at the age of five.

This year I celebrated outliving her. It is a weird journey. Nov 21, Ginger rated it it was amazing. This book has special meaning to me.

My mother, who was an outstanding and incredible woman who had tremendous faith, was very intelligent and practical optimist, lived her life to the fullest.

She was understanding, generous, and gracious. Her sparkling wit and sense of humor spread her joy and touched the lives of many people.

I first read this book years after Mom had died. While I have very vivid memories of her and carry her in my heart, this book stirred up special moments and aspects of re This book has special meaning to me.

While I have very vivid memories of her and carry her in my heart, this book stirred up special moments and aspects of relationships I had forgotten or not allowed myself to ponder.

I laughed and cried and so appreciated the truth that pervades this book and its follow up of letters from motherless daughters.

I always wanted to be like my mother. Two days ago, my oldest child and only daughter gave birth to her first child, a daughter. My children are tremendous blessings to me.

I hope I have been and can continue to be even half as good of a mother to them a Mom was to me, for then I will have given to the world strong, positive, joyful people to carry on Mom's legacy.

There were so many connections between the relationships I have with my mother and children and what I have rediscovered or been reminded of in the reading of this book.

I highly recommend this book to any woman whose mother is no longer alive, not matter what the age of the daughter or the mother was at the time of physically parting.

The reader will find comfort, things that will stir feelings and memories of this unique relationship God has blessed us with, reminders that will make her laugh and bring tears not only of wonderful times shared, but also or what might have been had circumstances been different.

I hope I honor my mother in the way I live my own life This is an important book for any woman who has lost her mother at any age, but especially before she turns twenty.

I was lucky enough to have my mom until I was This book was a very cathartic experience for me in many ways. Hope Edelman ends her book with this beautiful passage: I am fooling myself when I say my mother exists now only in the photographs on my bulletin board or in the outline of my hand or in the armful of memories I still hold tight.

She lives beneath everything I do. Her presence influenced who I was, and her absence influences who I am.

Our lives are shaped as much by those who leave us as they are by those who stay. Loss is our legacy. Insight is our gift. Memory is our guide.

Feb 06, Mary rated it did not like it. Motherless Daughters has been mentioned to me a few times in the many years since my mother passed away when I was a teenager.

I appreciated that the author gathered a multitude of stories. It was very cathartic to read the experiences of other people - especially regarding a topic that can be emotional and is not casually shared.

This book gave me insight into some of my own behavior, and I am very thankful for that. And NO. I immediately flipped to the front of the book to see when this edition was published.

Unbelieveable that it was outdated even when it was printed! For a book that is so widely read and recommended for people who are grieving, I didn't expect pages smeared with homophobia.

I was grossed out and couldn't finish the book. It lost all credibility for me. This book desperately needs to be updated.

Jan 09, Cathy rated it it was amazing. This book helps! As a motherless daughter, you spend your life holding your breath.

I didn't realize I was doing this, until I passed the age my mother was when she died. I've reached a point in my life that I have no experience with and no role model.

My children now are older than I was when my mother died. I have no frame of reference for a relationship with them. This book helped me to figure out those little things that I couldn't put my finger on.

Why I was reacting I appropriately and why This book helps! Why I was reacting I appropriately and why I felt so adrift. Jul 12, Jessica Jeffers rated it it was amazing Shelves: favorites , nonfiction.

They should hand this book out with your ovaries. That sounds glib, but seriously: nearly every single woman out there is going to lose her mother one day.

When you do, this book will be your lifeline. It is essential reading -- I revisit it every year on the anniversary of my own mother's death.

This book took me a while to get through because it was too real and too much to get through. It is so familiar and so painful and comforting for someone who has lost their mother while young and I am so grateful a friend who had been through the same thing gave this to me as a gift.

Oct 30, B. When the death of her mother also means the dissolution of her family, a daughter loses whatever secure foundation she had.

Her search for safety and security requires that she keep moving forward. I've spent a grand total of one month out of five years in the states after mom died.

I don't have a place to go back to. Everything I own is here, with me now. The last time I was in the states at this time celebrating Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, mom was still alive.

I admit, I'm scared. I'm so scared of going back and being hit by grief all over again. I'm scared because I'm going back to a great huge expanse of nothing.

I lived this book. It has my anger, my pain, my uncertainties. It was something I very much needed while preparing for this major life change.

It was incredibly reassuring to know that others had gone through I went through, though I don't wish it on anyone. I appreciated the comparisons between loss from sudden death and loss from disease, and how in the end, it was the same.

There's no good way to lose your mother. Whether it's sudden, or standing at her bedside watching her fight for her last breath like I did. The trauma goes deep.

It wasn't surprising, just saddening for me to read that the majority of fathers remarry within the first year. Trust me, it's awful. It's infuriating.

I have so much respect for men that wait to remarry. I have a hard time believing that you can really love someone and start dating three weeks after they die.

My family shattered completely and it won't go back. It also told me that I wasn't alone in thinking that making something out of my life after mom died wasn't a bad thing.

That it gave me strength I may have not found otherwise. Even more reassuring was the bit where one woman said she wouldn't change anything.

That she wasn't willing to trade her experiences. I needed to read that. It also explained my anxieties and fears about dying young, and my preoccupations with disease.

I noticed an increase in my already present anxiety after mom died. I guess I feel less crazy now. And less ashamed that I worry. I think what kept me from giving it a whole five stars is maybe Some of it definitely feels like stereotypes about women, and that doesn't apply to everyone.

Particularly the sections dealing with LGBT women were not always done with the best grace. Other than that, I definitely needed to read this, though it was painful.

I've taken a lot away from it. Jun 11, DenaP: rated it it was amazing. My mother died when I was It has shaped my whole life. I had purchased this book shortly after the first edition was released and made it part-way through crying through many pages.

I lent it to a friend who never returned it. Perhaps a good thing, because this time I read the most recent version that spoke to me through all stages of my life.

My mother-in-law recently passed away and I retired, two life events that arrived in a way that made it clear that I never grieved my own mother's dea My mother died when I was My mother-in-law recently passed away and I retired, two life events that arrived in a way that made it clear that I never grieved my own mother's death.

Hope has explained so much of the unexplained and I found so much of my story here in her book. It is an important book for all women who lost their mother's through death or abandonment.

It is a must read. Aug 10, Michyreads rated it really liked it. There were many aspects of this book that were irrelevant to my particular circumstances, but overall, I found it to be a very thought-provoking and relatable read.

Sep 21, Angela rated it it was amazing. The best book I have read about this loss. Many chapters spoke to me directly. Nov 07, Delaney rated it it was amazing.

Edelman provides deep insight into the hearts and minds of motherless daughters, and I would recommend this book both to those who have lost mothers, and to those who are seeking to love women who have lost mothers.

May 06, Niamh rated it it was amazing. Really good to help cope with grief. There are different explanations for reactions to grief at all stages of life which didn't make me feel so alone.

Would recommend to anyone going through losing their Mum and will refer back to this throughout my life. Jan 25, Kit Mead rated it it was amazing.

In I was 16 years old and my mother died after a 7 year battle with cancer. After many years of on and off therapy, I never got nearly as far as I have within the first 80 pages of this book.

Hope Edelman has changed my In I was 16 years old and my mother died after a 7 year battle with cancer. Hope Edelman has changed my life, 31 years later and I will be eternally grateful for that.

There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Readers also enjoyed. Self Help. About Hope Edelman. Hope Edelman. Hope Edelman is the internationally acclaimed author of eight nonfiction books, including the bestsellers Motherless Daughters and Motherless Mothers, as well as the upcoming book, The Aftergrief.

She has lectured extensively on the subjects of early loss and also on nonfiction writing in the U.

Her articles and reviews have appeared in numerous publications, Hope Edelman is the internationally acclaimed author of eight nonfiction books, including the bestsellers Motherless Daughters and Motherless Mothers, as well as the upcoming book, The Aftergrief.

Her work has received a New York Times notable book of the year designation and a Pushcart Prize for creative nonfiction.

Books by Hope Edelman. Related Articles. If you haven't heard of record-smashing singer and songwriter Mariah Carey, is there any hope for you?

Read more Trivia About Motherless Daught Quotes from Motherless Daught No one in your life will ever love you as your mother does.

There is no love as pure, unconditional and strong as a mother's love. And I will never be loved that way again.

It always hovers at the edge of her awareness, prepared to surface at any time, in any place, in the least expected ways. Welcome back. The movie differs significantly from the book.

Although the book is set in contemporary times, Norton felt the plot and dialogue lent themselves more to a noir setting — moving it to the s, with many added plot points inspired by The Power Broker.

Other members of the cast joined by February , and principal photography began that same month. It received generally positive reviews from critics, with praise for Norton's performance and the film's ideas, but criticism for its length and deviations from its source novel.

Their boss, Frank Minna, rescued them as children from an abusive orphanage. Nicknamed "Motherless Brooklyn" by Frank, Lionel has Tourette syndrome , often alienating him from people, but his strong verbal and photographic memory makes him a good detective.

Working a secret case, Frank asks Lionel and Gilbert to shadow him to a meeting. Lionel listens over the phone as Frank presents documents that threaten a business deal for a man named William Lieberman, who's there with his assistant Lou and an extremely large henchman.

When Frank tries to negotiate a high price, the men force him to take them to the originals. Lionel and Gilbert follow in their car, arriving just as Frank is shot.

They take him to the hospital, but Frank dies. Frank's widow Julia leaves Tony in charge of the office. Lionel begins wearing Frank's hat and coat, and a matchbook in Frank's pocket leads Lionel to an African-American owned jazz bar in Harlem.

He realizes that Frank's findings involve Laura Rose, who works for Gabby Horowitz fighting urban renewal ; poor and minority neighborhoods are being bought out and demolished, forcing out their residents.

Lionel goes to a public meeting where Moses Randolph, a commissioner of several development authorities, is loudly contested by Horowitz and the audience.

Stealing a reporter's credentials, Lionel talks to a man named Paul who was raging against Moses at the meeting and tells him Moses is the real power in the city government, even beyond the mayor.

Under the guise of reporting on the urban renewal story, Lionel gets to know Laura. She takes him to a club Frank was investigating, where her father Billy - assuming Lionel is one of Moses' men - has him beaten unconscious.

Lionel is rescued by a trumpet player, and discovers that Paul is Moses' brother and an engineer. He realizes Lieberman is receiving kickbacks on many of the housing deals, and that the housing relocation programs are scams.

Paul presents Moses with a huge renovation plan to improve the city. Billy calls Lionel, apologizing for the attack and offering to meet with information.

However, Lionel arrives to find Billy murdered - his death staged as a suicide. Staying the night with a distraught Laura at her house, Lionel admits his true identity and that he believes she is in danger.

Finding photos of Paul meeting with Billy on his own, Lionel confronts Laura, who explains that her "Uncle" Paul is her real father. Paul denies this to Lionel, and explains that Frank and Billy planned to get more money out of Randolph's goons, against Paul's protests.

He begs Lionel to find the evidence. Lionel is brought to Moses, who invites him to join his team and stop snooping, with 24 hours to decide. Inside Frank's hat, Lionel finds the key to a Pennsylvania Station storage locker, containing a property deed and Laura's birth certificate, which reveals Moses is her father.

Lionel gives the key to Paul and runs into Tony, who has been working surveillance for Randolph. Lionel races to save Laura, stopping her before she enters her apartment, and they flee.

Laura knocks the large henchman off the fire escape, and Lou corners them with a gun but is hit in the head with a trumpet by the trumpet player, who drives Laura out of town.

Lionel meets Moses who reveals that he raped Laura's mother, one of his employees. Paul forged Moses' signature on the birth certificate and exposure of this secret threatened Moses.

Lionel warns Moses to leave Laura alone or he will release the information. He informs Moses that Lieberman is on the take and asks that when Moses has Lieberman killed, to tell him it is for Frank.

Moses tells Lionel to tell Paul that his plans for the city will proceed. The next day Paul learns that Moses denied his plans out of spite while Lionel mails the information about Lieberman to the reporter whose credentials he stole.

Lionel drives to the seaside property Frank left to him where Laura is waiting for him. Norton took significant creative license with Lethem's book, [4] keeping only the character of Lionel Essrog, his mentor Frank Minna, and the idea of him investigating his surrogate father's murder; [5] deviations The Atlantic ' s David Sims considers "both radical and baffling".

Although the novel takes place in a modern setting, Norton rewrote the story for the s, because the "characters are written in a very s hardboiled detective style Norton was uncertain as to whether he would direct the film.

Williams was cast as a jazz musician. Norton has credited The Wire with giving him a long-standing desire to work with Williams and also called it "a great dissection of the complexity of American urban life".

Additional filming took place in December in Troy, New York. On March 22, , a fire broke out in the cellar of the Harlem building where production was taking place, beneath the film's set.

Davidson of Engine Davidson's widow against Norton's production company Class 5 Films for the wrongful death of her husband, [31] and by Class 5 Films against the building's landlord.

Norton emailed Radiohead singer Thom Yorke asking him to write a song for the film. Composer Daniel Pemberton wrote the score for Motherless Brooklyn in less than four weeks and produced it in less than two weeks.

The website's critics consensus reads, " Motherless Brooklyn ' s imposing length requires patience, but strong performances and a unique perspective make this a mystery worth investigating.

Peter Bradshaw of The Guardian gave the film 3 out of 5 stars, writing, "It's a heavy meal to digest, but this is a strong, vehement film with a real sense of time and place.

Scott of The New York Times called it "a very smart movie, bristling with ideas about history, politics, art and urban planning.

Chris Tilly of IGN gave the film a 6. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Theatrical release poster. Release date. Running time. Toronto International Film Festival.

Archived from the original on July 23, Retrieved August 22, The Hollywood Reporter. Archived from the original on October 27, Retrieved October 27, Box Office Mojo.

Retrieved January 30, Archived from the original on November 1, Retrieved November 3, Archived from the original on October 28, Retrieved October 28, Retrieved May 19, Archived from the original on November 2, Retrieved November 2, Retrieved July 22, The Washington Post.

Deadline Hollywood.

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In s New York, a lonely private detective afflicted with Tourette's Syndrome ventures to solve the murder of his mentor and only friend.

Director: Edward Norton. Writers: Edward Norton written for the screen by , Jonathan Lethem from the novel by. Added to Watchlist. From metacritic.

Golden Globes Trending Titles. Good Ones Share this Rating Title: Motherless Brooklyn 6. Use the HTML below. You must be a registered user to use the IMDb rating plugin.

Nominated for 1 Golden Globe. Edit Cast Cast overview, first billed only: Edward Norton Lionel Essrog Gugu Mbatha-Raw Laura Rose Alec Baldwin Moses Randolph Willem Dafoe Paul Randolph Bruce Willis Frank Minna Ethan Suplee Gilbert Coney Cherry Jones Gabby Horowitz Bobby Cannavale Tony Vermonte Dallas Roberts Danny Fantl Josh Pais William Lieberman Radu Spinghel Giant Man Fisher Stevens Lou Peter Gray Lewis Mayor as Peter Lewis Robert Wisdom Edit Storyline Set against the backdrop of s New York, "Motherless Brooklyn" follows Lionel Essrog Norton , a lonely private detective afflicted with Tourette's Syndrome, as he ventures to solve his friend's murder.

Edit Did You Know? Goofs The same green Studebaker Lark is parked on the street in at least 4 different locations. Quotes [ first lines ] Lionel Essrog : [ narrating ] Frank always used to say, "Tell your story walkin', pal.

I got somethin' wrong with my head. It sounds like I conquered life that day, or like I lost all hope of being a woman.

It is ambivalent and loaded. It has a pastel cover and a sentimental name, but I kind of appreciate that about the book. I think I benefited from waiting to read it until I felt like I could really listen to a sentimentally titled book without sneering.

It would be like waiting for myself to spontaneously become a stellar lawyer without ever actually going to law school or reading any books about law.

Or, it would be like waiting for myself to spontaneously become a marathon runner. Not all self-help books have anything worthwhile about emotional growth to say, but neither do all legal scholars have anything worthwhile to say about the law or all personal trainers about marathons.

I wish I had been prepared to read it sooner. The book is directed to women, obviously, but Edelman makes the point that we, women or men, mourn rejection in whatever form, whether death or emotional or physical abandonment from our same-sex parent differently than we mourn rejection from our opposite-sex parent, and the book is mostly about that.

Even if you have not experienced rejection from a same-sex parent, I think it would still give you perspective on what you gain from that parent that you might not even be aware of.

It also might give you perspective on why at least some of us women who have lost our mothers act the way we do when we have not known how to mourn.

The book is arguably as sentimental as its title, even just because it is about death and emotions, but it is so smart.

Edelman surveys over a hundred women who lost their mothers at various ages, and she tells their stories in an organized, clear layout.

She also talks about many famous women, including Virginia Woolf, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, and Madonna, and how they have reacted to the deaths of their mothers.

In addition to hearing and recounting all of these stories, Edelman obviously did some pretty serious research into other studies about women and grief, and about family relationships in general.

For me, much of this book was practically a miracle. It is that when a mother rejects a daughter, whether she does it intentionally or unintentionally, such as through illness and death, the daughter starts to look for the mother relationship in all of her relationships.

The daughter starts to think that any successful relationship ultimately has that particular form of intimacy — that the intimacy from a mother is successful intimacy.

I literally thought this. I have been jealous of my friends, men or women, who have families read: friends who have mothers and their ability to do relationships right, shown just by the fact that they have a mother.

And this intensity has created a completely unfair expectation for all of my relationships because then every time I experience rejection, it is the loss of my mom, the loss of my family, all over again.

It means that friends living their own lives, not focused on me one hundred percent of the time, translated to rejection, and not just rejection, but also the death of my relationship with my mother all over again.

It was basically a miracle to hear that I could treat the loss of that nurturing, cocoon relationship, that mother-child relationship, as a total loss, and not let that loss pile on to every other lost relationship I ever have.

It sounds weird, but it is a relief to know it is not failure that no friend ever turns out to be my mom. It is more my experience of being a motherless daughter than a critique of the book.

Even though my personal story, like anyone's personal story, is not the same as most other people's, it was really incredible to hear how similar my reaction to losing my mother is to the reactions of other women who lost theirs.

The Foundation is basically a Judeo-Christian group that teaches men how to stand up to the domineering women around them. It teaches them how to take the world back from the invidious control of women, and it teaches women how to overcome their natural tendencies toward evil ya know, Eve, and all that.

This is my recollection of The Cult. The first panel was a tiny woman and a big, strong man. As the panels maybe six or eight panels went along, the woman got bigger and stronger, and the man got smaller, until, at the end it was a huge, ugly woman sitting next to a coffin.

Anyway, my mom and dad realized that my mom was the source of all evil in our family, and that if my brother and I were to grow up right, we would have to overcome the feminine influences in our lives.

My brother had been nursing, and my mom cut him off from nursing without any weaning process. Years later, when a friend of mine went home early from a sleepover weekend because, she said, my parents never hugged us, my parents realized that still none of us touched each other ever, but it is difficult to change habits.

I am extra-sensitive to anti-feminist propaganda, I know, because of this upbringing. My mom continued to believe for the rest of her life that it was her job to repress any part of her personality that might conflict with my dad, the head of our household.

But, I continued to look to my mom for the relationship I had with her when I was very young. I always hoped she would wake up and come back to me, until I realized a few years before she died, during her eight-year-long dying process, that she never would.

At that time, a friend reprimanded me, saying that she cherished that special mother-child bond with her own kids, and I would regret not maintaining that before my mom died.

From the time I was little and my mom emotionally vacated the family, I got so used to looking for that relationship from her that I also started looking to everyone for it.

I thought it was intimacy. I knew I loved these people, but I thought it was not the right kind of connection. And, then, when they had to do normal things for their normal lives, which I completely want them to do, it was a betrayal to me that was its own, plus the loss of my mom.

When friends would move away, or start a new relationship and get busy, it was a betrayal with emotional intensity far beyond what I actually expected from the relationship.

This was true for both friends and romances, both women and men in my life. I could need to recognize that not every action a dear friend takes for him or herself is a sign that I am a burden to that person and they secretly wish they could reject me.

Each new love does not have to be the sum of all previous loves and rejections. No new love is what I lost from my mother.

View all 56 comments. Jan 12, Jim rated it really liked it. Though clearly intended for women who've lost their mothers, this book is full of insights for someone like me, the father of a motherless daughter.

It reveals much that I suspected and even more that had not occurred to me about the difficulties and opportunities presented to a daughter with the loss of her mother.

Hope Edelman surveyed many women who had lost their mothers and drew some valuable conclusions about the effect of such a loss on both the child and the adult daughter.

View all 3 comments. Apr 20, Laurie rated it it was amazing. A clerk at a plant nursery recommended this book to me--I don't recall what I said to prompt her to bring it up, but she insisted I get it immediately, and without sounding too dramatic, this book saved my life.

My mother had died about ten years earlier--I was twenty-two--and I was struggling. I looked and acted like I had it all together, but inside I was falling apart.

Guess the woman saw right through me. I am forever grateful to Ms. Edelman and the woman at the nursery because this book he A clerk at a plant nursery recommended this book to me--I don't recall what I said to prompt her to bring it up, but she insisted I get it immediately, and without sounding too dramatic, this book saved my life.

Edelman and the woman at the nursery because this book helped me to understand the ways that my mother's death was continuing to affect me and offered ideas on how to cope.

I had always felt a bit guilty for struggling with my mother's death--after all, I was an adult when she died.

Even others, upon my telling them that my mother had died when I was twenty-two, would say, "Oh, at least you weren't young.

I always wanted to scream at them that I never got to know my mother as a woman, and my mother would never get to know me as a peer.

It hurts me that people seem to brush off the magnitude of me losing my mom at the age I was This year I turn the same age as my mother was when she died, and I'll be reading it again to help me get past this hurdle.

I was relieved to read that it is common to assume you won't live past the age your mom was when she died. Wish me luck! Ha ha. I can't recommend this book enough.

Pick it up for yourself or for someone you know who has lost their mother. It is straightforward yet gentle and calm. It is miraculous.

View 2 comments. May 06, Jorine rated it it was amazing. This book has been extremely helpful to me. I have lost both of my parents.

None of my friends luckily knew what I was going through and so it was very hard to talk to people about the loss and about the feelings I had regarding the loss.

I felt very lonely. Then I decided to take a leap of faith and fly to the US I'm from the Netherlands in order to become more confident and independent.

I went to Boston and - being the booknerd that I am - ended up at Borders and I stumbled upon this book. I had never heard of it.

I sat down and started to read. I was crying in the bookshop kind of embarrassing, really. I read the passage about seeing somebody dying.

Edelman described the scene so vividly and it reminded me of my mother's death, which was almost exactly the same.

It was gripping and heart-wrenching. I wiped my tears, bought the book, took a breath and went to sit nearby the harbour enjoying life.

Even though we have experienced traumatizing things, we should not forget to live our life. So there I sat, halfway across the world.

My parents would've been proud. Thanks to this book, I came to terms with my mum's death. It taught me that there are several stages of grief and that you should take the time to go through them.

I always thought that what I felt was weird, but the book taught me otherwise. It was like I was talking to a friend who had gone through the same tragedies.

I felt relieved because I could relate to other people's stories and mine was similar. Finally, I didn't have to 'explain' myself.

Whenever I feel the need, I turn to the book and seek advice, relatable stories, etc. It's all in there.

That's what makes "Motherless Daughters" such an amazing book to me. View 1 comment. Feb 18, Ellen rated it it was amazing. I couldn't help but think of Motherless Daughters yesterday, Feb.

I was 21, and my world caved in with her death. I read this book 7 or 8 years after her death and it tossed me a lifeline. This book gave me a sense of peace and healing that has stayed with me for many, many years.

This book is based on the intervie I couldn't help but think of Motherless Daughters yesterday, Feb. This book is based on the interviews of many women who lost their mother's at an early age.

It shows the common threads that we, as motherless daughters, share. We are members of a club we joined before we were ready. This is an emotionally difficult book to read.

But, if you have lost your mother especially if you were young , then get yourself an economy-sized box of Kleenex and dig in.

You will be glad you did. Dec 14, Karen rated it liked it Recommends it for: all women. This books is written primarily about women who have lost their mothers earlier in life and the life long impact this has, yet I still find it an important book for every woman.

We all are daughters, many are mothers, and we all know mothers and daughters who have been impacted or will some day be impacted by the loss of a mother.

The void created by mother loss is universal. This important book can help each of us understand our "sisters" better and help us deal with our own mother loss whether This books is written primarily about women who have lost their mothers earlier in life and the life long impact this has, yet I still find it an important book for every woman.

This important book can help each of us understand our "sisters" better and help us deal with our own mother loss whether that be in the past or future.

Jun 12, Bob rated it it was amazing. Fear of similar losses may become a defining characteristic of her personality. What tremendous luck is going to prevent all the people I love from dying?

And what she wants is constant affection and praise. She believes, like a child, that she can control others. Shelves: favorites , goodreads-author , readbooks-female-author-or-illust , zz-5star , orphaned-and-quasi-orphaned-kids , psychology , z , reviewed , non-fiction , biography.

I read this book immediately when it was published in hardcover. Led me to join a motherless daughters support group, and some members of our group continued meeting on our own for yea I read this book immediately when it was published in hardcover.

Led me to join a motherless daughters support group, and some members of our group continued meeting on our own for years, which was a good experience.

This was the first book I read that really addressed the ramifications of losing a mother at a young age by someone who had the experience.

It made me feel less alone, and it was an interesting read as well. Feb 07, Susan rated it it was amazing. Find yourself in this book - an affirmation of loss.

July 8, I don't know if Hope Edleman could ever really fathom the good she has done through writing this book, and how she has brought such beautiful purpose and meaning to her profound loss.

What an amazing tribute to her mom. She was only 45 years old. Not a day in my life has passed that I don't miss her immensely.

At the age of 18, a week before my Find yourself in this book - an affirmation of loss. At the age of 18, a week before my high school graduation, I found myself grieving for my mom more than ever.

I was watching morning tv as I was preparing for school and saw Ms. Edleman discussing this book and I knew that I was meant to read it.

I can hardly put into words just how powerful Motherless Daughters has been in my own efforts to cope with life after losing the most important woman in it.

Motherless Daughters is the closest written expression you will find of understanding the depth and breadth of the loss of a mother. I was amazed to read about the experiences of others with similar and even unsimilar circumstances and discover how much I shared with them in their feelings of loss.

Feelings you may not have even experienced consciously are brought to light and put into words when you never knew it could be.

You will find yourself in this book time and time again. Motherless Daughters has an extraordinary way of affirming the reader and bringing comfort to the child that continues to grieve within, no matter how many years you have lived without her.

The daughter learns that contrary to societal's response to the death of her mom, that it is so natural for her to continue grieving for her.

This realization meant so much to me as I still deal with the impact of my mom's death. I am 23 and 12 years have passed since, yet I still often find the emptiness of losing her overwhelming.

My book is now tattered and worn from all the marking of pages and underlining and loaning out to people I knew could benefit from reading it. So many of my friends that have lost their moms have bought their own.

Just reading it was not enough. I completely understand. I have read and reread my own copy several times and each time, it has new meaning to me.

I don't necessarily recommend giving this book to someone who has just recently lost their mom, however. Its purpose really serves best after some time has passed.

Not to mention, I think to give this book to a daughter some months or even years after the loss helps her to remember that you empathize with the loss she still feels though it may go unspoken, and most importantly, you have not forgotten her mother's life.

That's the best gift of all. Aug 26, Jaralee rated it really liked it. I bought this book for my neighbors ages 18 and 21 who just lost their mother to breast cancer in June.

Before giving it to them, I decided to order a copy for myself so I could read it and decide if they might be ready to hear the message the author was sharing given they are newly grieving.

What I found is that this book resonated with me so much as I dealt with my own mother loss. My mom developed early onset Alzheimer's when I was in my mid 20s.

She died when I was 40 almost ten years ago. T I bought this book for my neighbors ages 18 and 21 who just lost their mother to breast cancer in June.

This book is a compilation of stories and research of over women who lost their mothers at a young age - since I was 40 when my mom died, I didn't think of myself in this category, but because I "lost" my mom in my 20's due to her unique illness, I related to so much of what other women have dealt with having lost their moms before the natural order of expectation.

The book did not have any magical answers - the author even opened with the depressing idea that "time does not heal everything" - the one idea we all want to hold on to.

We all hope and think "Someday, it won't be so hard to cope with the idea that my mom is gone" This is absolutely true for me.

But the author also noted what I have found true in my own life. That although time doesn't make the pain go away, it does allow us the ability to develop better coping strategies, and gain support from others that makes the pain easier to bear.

It was comforting to read about other women's experiences as they reflected back to losing their mom at an impressionable age.

It gave voice to my own story, and helped me understand where I come from regarding this situation. I have decided to wait to give this book to my dear young neighbors after they have had a chance to move in and out of their own grief - probably next year sometime.

I am grateful that I read this book and recommend it to anyone who has lost their mother at an age when the loss affected them more than they thought possible.

I am not one to quote or recommend a "self help" book, as if it often categorized. I bought this book the month it came out over ten years ago, when I was working in a bookstore.

Overall, I think its popularity with women who have lost a mother at a young age, because Edelman confirms all the emotions you go through, and through again as you, as a woman, and a mother.

I thought I was crazy and it was just me. And that old grief cycle starts again, to its extent, and then ends and waits until the next milestone in my life.

It is one of my most cherished books and its as if my mother gave it to me, and I will and have never lent it to anyone. May 04, Jerjonji rated it it was amazing.

The Anne Quindlen quote early in the book says it all This is the book I The Anne Quindlen quote early in the book says it all This is the book I never knew existed, about feelings I thought were so unique that no one else in the entire world understood them- except for another motherless daughter.

I suspect she'll find herself inside too. When a girl or woman you know experiences the death of her mother, instead of sending flowers, get her this book.

In fact, give this to the husband of a woman who died and left a young daughter; I know of several men who read this in an effort to understand what their daughter would go through without a mother.

Alternately heartbreaking and heartwarming, if you've lost your Mom, whatever age you were when it happened, you will turn to this book over and over again for comfort and hope.

I can't r When a girl or woman you know experiences the death of her mother, instead of sending flowers, get her this book.

I can't recommend this book highly enough, and I'm always surprised that more people, including therapists, don't know of it and recommend it too.

I'd give it 10 stars if I could. Mar 22, Wendy Armstrong rated it it was ok. This is a patchy collection of anecdotes and snippets of psychology.

It's definitely aimed at women whose mothers died when they the daughters were under 25, and isn't really suitable for later, 'normal' mother loss.

I am in the target demographic mother died in her 30s when I was 18 but I don't think I'll ever refer to this book again. The two overarching messages I took from Edelman, and which pervade the book, were: 1.

The book continually returns to the theme of exalting the 'flawless' dead mother. I could not relate to this. As someone without kids, I took no comfort from and saw no usefulness in the overriding message she promotes.

She's good on how communication is paramount, and the fallout when surviving family don't talk about the dead mother.

Her insights on how it feels to not have a mother in your teens and 20s are excellent. The siblings chapter isn't very strong either.

Despite the fact that the author clearly takes obvious pains to include examples of in her opinion culturally diverse women - in the end, if you are not just like Edelman, you might not find much comfort in it.

I bought the book to try to deal with things that are resurfacing from that time, and feelings that may be age- and circumstance-related, but it didn't help.

Sep 21, Sara Stouffer rated it really liked it. My mom died about 5 months ago. I am 27 years old. She had been sick for a few years with cancer and I took the book out from the library while she was in the hospital during the last month of her life because I hoped that I would find something helpful in it, that it would make me feel less scared, and less alone.

It did help. At least it helped as much as any book could. Of course the book isn't perfect, nothing could be a perfect help or a perfect fix for a daughter losing her mother before s My mom died about 5 months ago.

Of course the book isn't perfect, nothing could be a perfect help or a perfect fix for a daughter losing her mother before she would have imagined.

This book was helpful to me, in some way.

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